Thanks for allowing us to process alongside you, Jenny. Your heart is big and beautiful and it makes sense that it’s absolutely breaking. Praying for all your intentions.
Your mother produced a beautiful family and so many siblings for you to treasure. I hope you see her best qualities in your siblings and kids, and that with time, the pain will be replaced with gratitude for such a good and holy mother. I am so sorry for your loss.
May her memory be eternal. <3 Your line about being so taunt struck me. As I've been pondering our own grief, I keep coming back to the feeling of tension between how things "should" be (in a not-fallen world) and how they are, and how painful that tension can be. I am trying to remember that tension can bring beauty though - in music, in art - and that I need to find the beauty too.
Oh Jenny - you so beautifully described the pain of losing one’s mother. It is a terrible loss and defies description. I miss my mother every single day, but know she is in better place without pain. This is not a club I thought I would be a member of for many years, but here I am, as are you. You will be in my prayers as you find your way though the grief to a new normal.
I will include you, your family, and your mother in my prayers.
The grieving will never really go away, but it will lessen for the most part and it will evolve. Eventually you will be enjoying all the happy memories of your mother instead of being so sharply and so painfully reminded of her absence. Not having read you before today, it appears that you were already grieving before you lost your mother (although I may be fuzzy on when your precious daughter was born and when her twin passed away). Grieving upon grieving is difficult for anyone to accomplish, and when you are actively taking care of a wonderfully large family, it’s not surprising that you have felt stretched beyond the anatomical limit of body and soul.
I don’t believe you need anyone to remind you that Mary, Most Holy, is your mother as much as your beloved mother was to you. Our Lord in His wisdom made sure that we would never be orphans by giving us His mother and Foster Father as well as remaining in the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Eucharist and in Eucharistic Adoration. Allow all of Heaven to soothe and comfort you, and never let go of your mother as she is still part and parcel of our world, just in different form now being a member of the Church Triumphant. And it’s okay for your family to see you mourning, because how else are they going to know that such a thing is real and necessary. They look to you in how to handle their own feelings of grief.
I am now in my eighth decade of life, and my mother passed away in 2020 weeks away from her 94th birthday. I had been her caregiver for nearly 22 years as she slowly declined physically and mentally. The last two years of her life had been very hard for both of us, as I was physically exhausted, and she, we would laugh, had never been in her 90s before. This plunged me into deeply studying Purgatory, because I realized with her passing that I didn’t know very much. When I converted to Holy Mother Church in 1990 after being a closet Catholic for twenty years, I found myself really worrying about Purgatory. After nearly five years of study and five years worth of praying for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, I have come see what a kindness, what a blessing this is for us who die in friendship with the Lord. And I’ve also come to realize that I don’t have to have prayed every unchurched and unbaptized family members in my large, combined family, prior to my passing, which I realize I’m closer to now than ever before, because I, too, will become part of the Church Triumphant. I can continue to pray for errant family members from my new perspective at that time, and furthermore will be able to grab Mary’s hand to ask her to pray with me. Perhaps I will pray with your mother.
Be kind to yourself. Your season of grief will eventually end its painfully acute stage, and all the other seasons of life will continue to happen as though nothing amiss had ever happened to your family. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
St. Joseph, pray for us. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and in the hour of our death. Jesus, I trust in you.
Dear Jenny: Mary will move to the top of my prayer list, right alongside you. I watched my "aunt" (Mom's friend) die of ALS when she was in her early 30s, and it made an indelible impression on me, the slow breaking down of all that made Aunt Rosemary ... her. I also cared for my mother for three years as she slowly descended into dementia, so I understand that pain as well.
Right now, the grief and pain must be so hard to carry. I will be praying that Our Lady will ease your burden for you as only she can. But know that, in caring for your mother, you gave the gift of love for which both you and she will always be grateful. It is love at its rawest and most honest. Thank you for sharing that with us. Heidi
Thanks for allowing us to process alongside you, Jenny. Your heart is big and beautiful and it makes sense that it’s absolutely breaking. Praying for all your intentions.
Thank you for sharing with us. So many prayers for you and your family! 🙏🏼
Your mother produced a beautiful family and so many siblings for you to treasure. I hope you see her best qualities in your siblings and kids, and that with time, the pain will be replaced with gratitude for such a good and holy mother. I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss, Jenny. Lifting you and your family up in my prayers!
May her memory be eternal. <3 Your line about being so taunt struck me. As I've been pondering our own grief, I keep coming back to the feeling of tension between how things "should" be (in a not-fallen world) and how they are, and how painful that tension can be. I am trying to remember that tension can bring beauty though - in music, in art - and that I need to find the beauty too.
Prayers for you and your family. God Bless you all
Praying for you Jenny 🙏🏻
Oh Jenny - you so beautifully described the pain of losing one’s mother. It is a terrible loss and defies description. I miss my mother every single day, but know she is in better place without pain. This is not a club I thought I would be a member of for many years, but here I am, as are you. You will be in my prayers as you find your way though the grief to a new normal.
My friend. Somehow I’m only seeing this now. Praying so deeply and grateful for being able to hear and receive your heart through this vale.
So sorry for your loss. Much of what you say about losing your mother I feel about having lost my brother. Grief and loss are hard, so hard...
I will include you, your family, and your mother in my prayers.
The grieving will never really go away, but it will lessen for the most part and it will evolve. Eventually you will be enjoying all the happy memories of your mother instead of being so sharply and so painfully reminded of her absence. Not having read you before today, it appears that you were already grieving before you lost your mother (although I may be fuzzy on when your precious daughter was born and when her twin passed away). Grieving upon grieving is difficult for anyone to accomplish, and when you are actively taking care of a wonderfully large family, it’s not surprising that you have felt stretched beyond the anatomical limit of body and soul.
I don’t believe you need anyone to remind you that Mary, Most Holy, is your mother as much as your beloved mother was to you. Our Lord in His wisdom made sure that we would never be orphans by giving us His mother and Foster Father as well as remaining in the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Eucharist and in Eucharistic Adoration. Allow all of Heaven to soothe and comfort you, and never let go of your mother as she is still part and parcel of our world, just in different form now being a member of the Church Triumphant. And it’s okay for your family to see you mourning, because how else are they going to know that such a thing is real and necessary. They look to you in how to handle their own feelings of grief.
I am now in my eighth decade of life, and my mother passed away in 2020 weeks away from her 94th birthday. I had been her caregiver for nearly 22 years as she slowly declined physically and mentally. The last two years of her life had been very hard for both of us, as I was physically exhausted, and she, we would laugh, had never been in her 90s before. This plunged me into deeply studying Purgatory, because I realized with her passing that I didn’t know very much. When I converted to Holy Mother Church in 1990 after being a closet Catholic for twenty years, I found myself really worrying about Purgatory. After nearly five years of study and five years worth of praying for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, I have come see what a kindness, what a blessing this is for us who die in friendship with the Lord. And I’ve also come to realize that I don’t have to have prayed every unchurched and unbaptized family members in my large, combined family, prior to my passing, which I realize I’m closer to now than ever before, because I, too, will become part of the Church Triumphant. I can continue to pray for errant family members from my new perspective at that time, and furthermore will be able to grab Mary’s hand to ask her to pray with me. Perhaps I will pray with your mother.
Be kind to yourself. Your season of grief will eventually end its painfully acute stage, and all the other seasons of life will continue to happen as though nothing amiss had ever happened to your family. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
St. Joseph, pray for us. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and in the hour of our death. Jesus, I trust in you.
Dear Jenny: Mary will move to the top of my prayer list, right alongside you. I watched my "aunt" (Mom's friend) die of ALS when she was in her early 30s, and it made an indelible impression on me, the slow breaking down of all that made Aunt Rosemary ... her. I also cared for my mother for three years as she slowly descended into dementia, so I understand that pain as well.
Right now, the grief and pain must be so hard to carry. I will be praying that Our Lady will ease your burden for you as only she can. But know that, in caring for your mother, you gave the gift of love for which both you and she will always be grateful. It is love at its rawest and most honest. Thank you for sharing that with us. Heidi
Thank you for sharing the beauty and the pain. 💔 May God bless all of you. 🙏